Branson has officially gone too far. What used to be a normal amusement park has now been turned into a towering monument to absolute insanity after city officials and developers unveiled a 50-Ferris-wheel-high mega-structure right in the middle of town.
The “Branson Ferris Wheel Tower” is exactly what it sounds like: dozens of full-size Ferris wheels piled on top of each other in a chaotic, leaning, physics-defying stack that stretches hundreds of feet into the sky. Some wheels are stacked straight up, while others jut out at dangerous angles, overlapping and hanging off the sides like a giant Jenga tower made of carnival rides.
Locals driving down the highway did double-takes when they saw the massive white-and-red tower looming over the water park and strip. “I thought it was a mirage or some kind of prank,” said one resident. “Then I realized they actually built it. Fifty Ferris wheels. Stacked. On purpose.”
Engineers claim the structure is “perfectly safe,” but nobody seems convinced. The whole thing sways slightly in the wind, and several wheels near the top look like they’re barely attached. One wheel is even tilted at a 45-degree angle, its red gondolas dangling precariously over the parking lot below.
Tourism boosters are calling it “the next big thing” and say it will draw visitors from all over the country. “People come to Branson for the shows and the lake,” said one developer. “Now they can ride the world’s tallest, most unstable Ferris wheel experience ever created.”
Critics aren’t impressed. “This is a lawsuit waiting to happen,” said a local safety advocate. “We’ve had deer swimming in the streets, a cruise ship on Table Rock Lake, and now this. At what point do we say enough is enough?”
The tower is already attracting huge crowds. People are lining up to take selfies in front of the massive structure, and some daredevils are reportedly trying to climb the lower wheels for better photos. City officials say the attraction will open to riders “very soon,” though they haven’t explained how they plan to get people safely to the top wheels.
Social media has exploded with videos and photos of the tower. Comments range from “Only in Branson” to “This is how the apocalypse starts.” One viral post simply read: “50 Ferris wheels stacked on top of each other. We don’t deserve nice things.”
This latest stunt adds to Branson’s ever-growing list of completely unhinged attractions. Between the hantavirus hotel quarantine, the golf cart stack, the swimming deer invasion, and the Carnival cruise ship sailing down the White River toward the Gulf of Mexico, locals say they’ve stopped being surprised by anything.
For now, the 50-stacked Ferris wheel tower stands as a shining (and slightly wobbly) symbol of what happens when Branson decides to one-up itself. Whether it becomes a beloved landmark or collapses into a pile of twisted metal and red gondolas remains to be seen.
The situation is still developing as engineers continue making “final adjustments” to the structure.